Just until the end the of June, email me now to get a free 20 min Mission Statement Coaching Session.
Limited time and space offer!
Create a powerful, purposeful Mission Statement!
Just until the end the of June, email me now to get a free 20 min Mission Statement Coaching Session.
Limited time and space offer!
Create a powerful, purposeful Mission Statement!
Don’t you notice that people are so quick to give you advice? Instead of allowing you to fully express yourself and stand in your truth, they toss in their judgments and opinions and tell you what they think you should do. Or maybe they say ahh, it isn’t so bad. And doesn’t that just leave you feeling worse or leave you feeling that no one understands? Well a life coach does not do any of that. We give you a safe space to be authentically you. A judgement free space, an opinion free space. A space that is all yours. I hold a mirror up to you I tell you what I see reflecting back. All of the amazing things that you don’t maybe see. I listen to you and I hear you. I validate your truth. I help make sense of the thoughts and the feelings that are coming up for you. Your best friend doesn’t always do that. Your parent doesn’t always do that. I don’t diagnose you, I don’t tell you what to do, or even what I think you should do. You come up with all of your solutions and answers. Life coaching is a highly specialized process that helps you gain clarity and focus on what makes you happy in life, and we hold you accountable when you go for it.
You can contact a life coach if you:
Yes, I am still a life coach and will be forever. Yes, I am pursuing everything I adore. Am I busy? Yes. But it is a good busy. It is a time flies type of busy. And I get to have awesome looking nails the whole time I’m doing it.
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New age bullshit can really screw up the mind. Talk about the constant need and the seeking of knowledge and fulfillment that’s a never-ending cycle of want want want. About this law of attraction thing, well you can’t always get what you want all of the time, life doesn’t work like that. There’s nothing wrong with having a positive attitude and getting into creative visualization, but if you’re worried about how your mind is thinking all the time it can be an added layer of stress. Focusing on doing things that take you out of your mind is what helps me lead a happier life. Continually thinking about your mind and trying to lead all of your thoughts towards a certain way is too much mind maintenance and can drive you up a wall.
If I do the activities that keep me present and shut off the mind, I’m a much happier person and I am not thinking all the time.
The times that I do have quietness and solitude where I’m left to a thinking mind I choose to observe it and see what’s going on in there. There might be issues that I need to focus on. I spent years studying and practicing meditation and now I see meditation as just an observation of the mind. I’m not taking anything in there with me, I’m not taking a chant in, I’m not taking a word in, or an idea, I’m just watching and listening to what’s going on in my mind. An inexperienced meditator might experience fear and terror going into the mind…when things get weird, I get out! Take what you see in there with a grain of salt. We are like receivers, like a TV antenna. Our mind collects and stores all sorts of things, from TV images to things your drunk friend said, whatever. When you jump into a mind, weird stuff is in there, so try not to get too freaked out. I pay attention to the reoccurring thoughts, and then I journal on them out to see why they keep coming up. They may need some attention. That’s it. Nothing crazy, nothing mystical. Now you can have mystical experiences. But they are TEMPORARY. You may or may not have them again. So, I choose not to chase them. Or claim they are fact and real. It’s just a mind trip.
I respect the Buddhist thought of not getting attached to things and from that, this is where I am able to observe the mind with its thoughts and ideas and not get all caught up with it.
However, I’m about to touch on the Middle Road which means I also welcome passion and I am proud to say I am attached to my loved ones and pets.
I can take non-attachment to a certain level, but cannot apply it to all aspects of my life.
I’m so over yoga, but I am all about stretching and keeping my muscles active and strong. And I don’t want to study any deities I’m just sticking to one main God. I do love the story of Jesus and I don’t know how historically true it is but I don’t care because it’s what I grew up with and it’s what I know and I’m okay with that. I believe everyone should have their own belief systems and I wouldn’t want to change anybody’s. Sometimes when you’re all caught up in that new age stuff you try to attach meaning to minutiae. Like…the large crumb of my coffee cake fell on the sidewalk, because the “Universe” is telling me to feed the less fortunate by giving a portion of my meals to the hungry creatures of the world. Or whatever. I know this way of thinking because I lived it. I have to tell you that most of the time it’s a mind game.
A new-ager can coach you into a temporary feeling of magical thinking. A new-ager can also coach you into thinking they have all of the answers for you.
And you keep seeking, and you keep paying. And your bliss is temporary until you need your new age fix. This is like believing all what a psychic tells you. I must say though I have surprised myself with my own psychic ability, I believe we all have a touch of it. But I do not know everything all of the time. I’ll get bits of pieces of “psychic crumbs” and sometimes they are right on, and others, not so much.
In case you’re wondering about my psychic experiences, I’ll give you one. I was able to psychically know the name of a young girl that passed away on the property next door to my new home. The name kept coming to me all day. I also psychically “knew” other information that was completely validated by others. But I CANNOT claim to be psychic all of the time. No way. I chalk most of this up to intuition. And I encourage others to use and develop their own intuition as well.
I steer way clear of ever telling anyone what is going to happen in their future.
I don’t coach people based on New Age Thought. I coach people into Action. You have to be careful out there, in the realm of self-help. Some of these people get so full of themselves and believe they know it all, and rely and “spirit guides” and unstudied and untested concepts.
Be careful out there. And when you are ready to make strides toward your goals, hit me up and we will use some good old-fashioned motivation, and use tried and true methods to reach your goals and beyond.
I don’t give advice in my coaching sessions, but I do in my blog. Here’s my advice: Be an authority on yourself. Don’t blindly follow others with the promises of cures or bliss.
News flash: your answers come from you, no one else.
I recently read on Reddit someone asking how a very wise or “spiritual” person could make mistakes or be taken by an addiction. Reading this got my inner voice buzzing and I could not wait to speak on this topic.
I admire people who show their humanness. I played the perfection game for many years, and all perfectionism does is paralyze you into inaction, because you are so afraid to proceed and make a mistake, that you end up not taking any action, or an action that is “safest”.
I praise and I’m proud of the people who are happy with themselves exactly the way they are and show up exactly as themselves. I am not impressed by the people who try to impress others or obtain many degrees, certificates or labels. I’m not knocking education or achievement, but what I am doing is promoting showing up as yourself, not hiding under a label. I want a person to show up as a human with flaws.
When you measure your worth or value by either a societal standard or by the opinions of others you’re cheating yourself. Self-esteem isn’t the measure of outside approval. You measure your own personal success and your own happiness. You choose your goals based on your values and you decide how to measure it.
Wise people still make “mistakes”. (Mistakes are actually opportunities, which is a whole other topic!) Wise people are subject to the same suffering and life situations that we are all subject to, no one is exempt from being human.
There is no such thing as perpetual spiritual bliss. I don’t know if anyone told you but happiness isn’t a permanent feeling, it is just like anger or sadness, they are temporary, they come and go. There are several moments during the day where I’m not feeling particularly anything but I could say I have a general contentedness, that is until something gets me mad. 😊
To say a life coach, a spiritual guru or a wise man (or wise woman) no longer experience bad feelings or makes mistakes is ridiculous. A life coach encourages you to be fully human and express your feelings without any hesitation but then we also call on you towards action, to take a step towards the place that you want to be and to learn about yourself in the process. We show you how to value yourself and to appreciate your own worth in this world. It’s not about pushing you up on the social ladder or getting approval from others. It’s about you being you and expressing and accepting yourself exactly as you are and improving anything that you would like to improve by creating action. Your satisfaction level in life can only be measured by you.
You will make mistakes. You can be wise and human at the same time. There is no wellness cure, and if people try to sell that to you, they are lying.
We do the best we can. When you have a life coach, you have someone in your corner, pointing out your gifts, seeing the true you, cheering you on, and helping you create goals that will bring you lifetime satisfaction.
We are all gifted. We all have a purpose. We are all wiser than we think we are. We are human first, and life can be challenging. But we as life coaches, we take those challenges, we chalk them up as training and we move on and kick some ass. And then we show you how to do it too.
Have you ever “fake felt” something? It is sort of like living in denial. For example, let’s say there is a movie that you really wanted to see and had such high hopes for, but when you see it, it is just OK. You say you like it, and you really want to like it, but truth be told, it sucks. Sometimes I REALLY want to like something. And I like the idea of it, but the reality of it falls short. Have you ever had this in your life?
It could be a relationship that you really wanted to work out, but it just isn’t working. It could be a job you thought would be great, but it isn’t. It could be a meal you have been looking forward to, like Eggplant Parmesan, but when you take that first bite, you are so excited and want it to be firm and juicy, but the fact is that it is mushy and gross.
What are you tolerating in your life, what are you settling for?
When you are true to yourself and show up authentic, you express your true feelings, not just the feeling you want to feel. For instance if you are bothered by something, let’s say someone calls you a jerk, and you really don’t want to care, but you do, you feel bad about it. Part of you really, really wants to say, “I don’t care what others think, but YOU REALLY DO, and lying to yourself that it doesn’t affect you does not help you. It creates an inner conflict. When you ignore and do not acknowledge your REAL feelings, and just try to jump ahead and say you don’t care, you are doing an injustice to yourself. Your self deserves the acknowledgment of, “Hey, that hurt, and it did not make me feel good.” And then, only then, can you move on from it. Otherwise, when you suppress your true feelings they will keep popping up until you acknowledge them.
Sometimes I surprise myself at what I cry about, so no matter how well you think you know yourself there are times when you’re not fully aware of the scope of your feelings and perhaps you are not fully facing some of the things inside of you. For instance, this morning I was very anxious about going to the doctor’s for a physical. I already had my blood work and looked at my results and they were just fine but I have so much energy around going to doctors from being diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis that just the simple act of visiting a doctor terrifies me a little because I so just want to not have anything wrong with me. The act of going into a cold white walled doctor office makes me feel uneasy and resulted in me having a good cry this morning. So I have to acknowledge the fact that I do have anxiety when it comes to doctors and medical visits and I have to tell myself that this is perfectly normal and that because of my autoimmune condition and it is completely understandable that I have these reactions. I don’t get mad at myself for it and I don’t say, “toughen up, stop crying like a baby!” I’m not impatient with myself I love myself to fully just let it out and cry if I have to and then I say how great I am that I put self-care at the forefront and even though sometimes going to doctors could be scary for me I am going because essentially I care about my health and I face whatever I need to face head-on.
When I went to a workshop this last weekend for my life coaching school I saw some people, while being coached, crying, releasing and letting out something emotional. Then I witnessed some of those people getting mad at themselves for crying. When you get angry at yourself for expressing a very natural and normal human emotion that is not self-love or self-care. Sometimes there is a conflict on how people want to be or how they want to see themselves as to who they really are.
So if you have a moment where you are releasing emotions and you are crying, allow yourself to be exactly as you are in that moment instead of resisting, and instead of reacting to it. For instance, getting mad at yourself for crying. There is nothing wrong with crying, crying is beautiful, allow it to be released. I notice people also apologize for crying as well.
Over the weekend during one part of a coaching session I cried because it hit a part of me that had a lot of energy around, it was about my arthritis and the fact that I ran a 5k for the first time. I was so proud of myself to be able to be a human in front of others and to not be ashamed or embarrassed of my energy around these topics. I embraced it and I loved that about myself, that I feel strong enough and okay enough to be able to expose the energy I have about these topics in front of others, which happened to consist of some tears and exposing a vulnerable side of me. Afterwards, I received so many hugs and so many personal stories from others about similar topics.
One girl in the class came up to me after she gave me a big hug and said she thought I cried because she knew I was missing my home (we were out of town) and this reason or that reason, and she said “I could see now why you cried”. For a minute there I thought number one, why do you need to explain why I cried, and why do you need to rationalize the act of crying. You don’t have to do that for me, it’s just how I was at that moment and that is okay. In fact it is phenomenal, that I felt a strong energy and that I expressed it without hesitation.
I don’t need to justify why I cried or have anyone else justify it for me and let me know that it’s okay that I cried, it already is okay. I have strong energy around my arthritic condition and that is what makes me human, and the fact that I have powerful feelings around it is great because it inspires me to take action, like running a 5k.
So my point in this whole thing is Express Yourself, be who you are unashamedly and apologetically without any explanation or justification, JUST BE….
Pixie slayed me. When I first saw her scooting around the floor my heart broke into a thousand pieces. Then when I met her and petted her my heart glued back together and become bigger, warmer and filled with more joy than before.
I was in orientation to volunteer at Tabby’s Place, A Cat Sanctuary. As the class began I see little Pixie scoot across the floor, her little back legs sticking straight out on either side of her and her little tiny colored diaper around the teeny tiniest fuzzy butt helped her glide on the floor deftly, with the grace of an Olympic skier. I’ve never seen such skills. She was at the head of the classroom and made a beeline right for me and placed herself directly in front of my chair and looked up at me with these incredible green kitty cat eyes. I was hooked.
She clearly is the most resilient cat I’ve ever met. A paraplegic cat, with an incredible spirit, she is so friendly despite being injured by a human with a pellet gun.
She did not show any signs of being fearful in a room filled with strangers. Here she was, this tiny ray of hope in a sometime scary world, with this undeterred will, not allowing an injury to get in the way of being her cute self, scooting around like a pro, approaching people and melting hearts all over the world.
What an inspiration. I wish I could take Pixie home, but I work full time, have 2 businesses and am in school! Perhaps in the future I can, and that didn’t stop me from fantasizing all night long on how to Pixie-proof the house and how it would work with the 2 adult cats already at home.
Maybe by the grace of God someday I can care for Pixie, or someone else can be the lucky mommy to her. In the meantime, I will visit her, I will donate to her and I will be thankful that I got to meet her and be touched by this little creature with an amazing courageous and resilient spirit.
You can read Pixie’s story here and donate directly to her for her medical needs.